Loving the image you see……· 0 comments · Dressing Room Conversations
The reflection we see and/or what we may hear from others can stay with us throughout the day. Think about it. You’re dressed, you look in the mirror and say “Ok this works, I feel good” and off to your destination for the day you dash. You run into someone on the way you know well, your spouse, sibling, friend on the street, and they say, “wow that is some seriously bright clothing, you surely won’t be missed” or “wow, you look fabulous, what’s different”,or, “what were you thinking” or simply, “that’s a unique look”. How might comments like these affect the confidence you felt before you left the house? The last image you had before you left for the day?
“If you have doubt you will hear doubt, if you have confidence you will NOT listen to fear others project on you.” —tami orloff
After years of hearing comments made by clients like these, “I’d like my husband, wife, significant other, friend, to see this on me, even though I love it” or ” someone told me I should always wear…..”. It’s no wonder the “self doubt fidget factor” become your reality.
Being sensitive to where the comments came from and the importance to the recipient sharing them with me, my response was and is always with care, “who is wearing the clothes, you or them?”.
Humor rarely hurts the heart or mind when delivered with love.
“If you are like many of us those comments will likely affect the way you feel about yourself throughout the day causing the ” self doubt fidget factor” to creep in and stay all day.
If you’ve heard or hear yourself say “I’m not sure it’s me or it doesn’t look good or my so and so won’t like it”, don’t just brush it off, take a moment, look again and trust yourself then decide.
What is it that makes us so uncomfortable we seek the approval of others? Likely, a negative comment that was offered, shared or given when you felt and looked your best by someone who didn’t agree.
Feedback is great when you don’t let it alter the perception you have for yourself. Accepting and embracing the opinions of others when requested can support your confidence if taken as a positive however, comments offered can easily be viewed as negative when the reflection they have of themselves, fear and doubt is projected onto you.
Pay attention to the “intention” of those you seek support, advice or comments from and remember, “it is not the style of others you want to own, it is the unique style you create for yourself that matters”.
When you have fear or self-doubt that maybe it doesn’t look “right”, instead of recruiting others to tell you it looks good (or doesn’t), simply don’t ask, own it and go. Feedback can support what you already know, or intentionally, unintentionally become hurtful in just the delivery. Be aware most comments will have consequences that may not be comfortable and likely will stay with you long after they are made. These friends, family and others may be expressing their own self doubt onto you. Listen and observe where and how the comments are delivered and shared before you make a decision about how you look. You decide to accept or reject the feedback.
If you have to ask others about how you look consider the reasons why.
Next time you are asked to share your opinion or feedback think of what and how you’d like to hear and offer encouragement not an opinion not how YOU would want it to look. Remember the “golden rule” and your friend is not you. Creating a bond of trust by encouraging self expression will go much further no matter what your relationship is to that person. Be honest, be open and say it with love how you might like to hear.
My many years of being a “top” style consultant and sales person in the world of image I learned early on trust from clients was critical therefore, I learned the art of listening and observing how my clients viewed themselves before I offered suggestions. By encouraging untrusting clients to simply trust themselves and believe, I was able to share the tools I used myself to create my unique individual style and how they might better create one for themselves. Often clients and friends would hear me say, “just try it on, be open to what I see, you may or may not choose it today, or tomorrow, or ever, and that’s fine just consider the possibility it may work.”
If your fear of what others may think or your self doubt sets in never allowing you to be open or you chose not to push your creativity and expression to experience something out of the box different, then how will you ever know?
Trying something “out of your normal” is often uncomfortable, without a doubt however, I encourage you to take the challenge and be open the next time a sales person with the heart and ear makes the suggestion of “just try it you don’t have to buy it just be open to seeing what I see.” Go for it you’re already in the dressing room half naked.
I’ve been gifted with many who have taken the tools I’ve shared and created their own “unique, fabulous” style. I’ve received pictures and letters of appreciation with stories that confirm the suggestive tools offered and used can work when we they believed in what I viewed as an endless canvas of possibilities. To say it comes without a price, not likely however, the cost is the price of admission to believe in change as a good thing not the cost of the clothes to create the change.
A “Tamism”; When in doubt, before committing to the purchase, either walk away and say no thanks or take the merchandise home, be prepared to return it if need be,( if you don’t burn to wear it immediately) “romance” the selection in the safety and comfort of your closet for a few days then decide whether to keep instead of committing cause it looked good at the time and so many “peeps” said it looked great at the store.
Do not be talked into anything that will never leave your closet on YOU once it’s home!
Take the journey with me or someone else you trust. Create, own and project your individual style with confidence and support.
Shop smart, shop for your image and not the approval of others, leave with less and buy smarter better and take the “tools’ shared to create your style story.
“Trot” along and off you go……………..